Coping With Confusion
by Sadie555
Summary: A girl faced trauma on earth. She then found herself the Enterprise. Can Dr. Crusher and Counselor Troi help her heal from the trauma? Please, no flames. I decided to put it up to share it with those who would like to read it.
1. Chapter 1

"Sarah?" the police officer called after her. Sarah ran with every bit of adrenaline rushing through her veins. "Sarah, wait! We want to help you!" She wanted to shout to them, "Just leave me alone!" but she didn't want them to follow her, so the 12 year old remained silent, hoping that with a few twists and turns she could lose them. Pain began to throb in her legs, but she did not think to stop. Where had the night gone wrong? What did she do that made the man want to hurt her? She had been quiet. Yeah, that's it. She should have said something. But, she had been hesitant. Why? Her mind snapped back to reality. She raced on through the streets of New York, wondering just for how much longer she could flee. Then, when she thought her heart would explode, she jumped into an alleyway, and hid in a small dug-out that was almost out of sight. She heard foot steps, the heavy thumping of shoes not far from her hide-out. Sarah waited until the foot steps went away, and then stumbled into the open, out of breath.

After a few moments rest, she caught glimpse of a man with the strangest looking gadget over his eyes. Getting up, she pulled herself together, trying to be as casual as possible, and then walked over to him. "Excuse me?" Sarah asked politely. The man turned to her. "What exactly is that on your head? Some sort of virtual reality thing or something?"

"What this?" the dark man asked, putting to what lay over his eyes. "Oh, no." he explained. "This is called a visor. It helps me to see. Now, I don't mean to be rude, but I really have to go." He turned and walked away briskly, and dropped a small pin he was wearing. Sarah picked it up.

"Wait! Mister, you forgot..." it was too late. He was out of sight. She shrugged, and was in the process of trying to figure out what it was, when all of the sudden she couldn't move. She had no idea where she was. And then, just as suddenly as the sensation came over her, it stopped. The girl fell to the ground. Only, it wasn't the ground she fell on. It was, well, a floor. Sarah looked at her surroundings. She found herself staring into the eyes of a man, before she began to get dizzy, and passed out.


	2. Chapter 2

"Captain, the patient is awakening. I've informed Counselor Troi."

"On my way."

Sarah was staring straight up at an odd looking ceiling. When she tried to sit up to look around, she felt a hand on her shoulder. The girl whimpered, and recoiled.

The weight from the hand retracted, but she could still feel the touch. "Whoa. Shhh." A gentle voice soothed. "It's alright." The child followed the voice to see a tall woman with red hair wearing a blue lab coat. The kind woman smiled softly. "My name is Dr. Beverly Crusher. Can you tell me yours?"

There was a long pause. Then quietly, nearly in tears, she replied, "Sarah. Sarah Pavlov." The Doctor's smile grew slightly. She placed her hand over the girl's.

"Sarah, do you know what year it is?"

"2006?" she asked in a whisper. Dr. Crusher tried to maintain her smile, but lightly bit her lip, while she shook her head. That was all it took for her tears to overflow. Beverly took the girl in her arms, while trying to keep her in the same position as not to hurt her. Soon, Sarah learned to accept the fact, and her crying died down.

"I'll be right back, Sarah, ok? Try to relax." The doctor told her, and left to get more instruments.

Then the door to Sickbay opened. In came Captain Picard and Counselor Troi. The child followed them with her eyes, and realized they were coming towards her.

"Hello." the Captain said abruptly. "I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard." He extended a hand for her to shake. Sarah stared at him, intimidated. Counselor Troi had a different approach, and when Sarah turned to her, as an alternative to the Captain, she began.

"I'm Deanna Troi, the ship's counselor." She said softly. "Everyone here wants to help you in any way we can."

Just then, Dr. Crusher returned. "Oh, I see you've met Sarah." she greeted.

"Sarah. What a lovely name." Deanna commented. The Captain was obviously uncomfortable, so he continued his work.

"I've assigned her one of the guest's quarters. Counselor, I want you to take her there. Doctor, continue what you need to do." He left.

"You're almost done. Let me just give you a quick injection of hypospray." Dr. Crusher informed both her patient and Counselor Troi.

At the word 'injection', Sarah's eyes widened and her heart began to race. She watched the doctor franticly.

"It's alright, Sarah." Counselor Troi said gently, taking her hand. "The hypospray won't hurt." The childs eyes once again filled with tears as she gripped the counselor's hand. Deanna knew that this girl had gone through a lot, though she didn't know what exactly it was. She rubbed Sarah's hand with her thumb. Beverly returned with the hypospray.

"I'm just going to put this up to your neck. You may feel a little tingle, but it won't hurt at all. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but try not to shrug." Dr. Crusher explained to her. Sarah gave the counselor eyes that said "please, don't let go". The hands tightened together as the hiss of the hypospray went off. "Ok, Counselor Troi is going to show you where you'll be staying for now." Sarah nodded, and turned to the counselor.

Deanna smiled at her. "Come on, I'll show you around."


	3. Chapter 3

When Deanna had finished with the guest, she returned to Sickbay to talk to Beverly. "Did you do a physical on her?" the counselor asked.

"Of coarse. It's a priority for anyone who is injured, but I think I know what you're getting at." the doctor replied. "The tricorder picked up some readings of bruising and other wounds. Deanna, I think that this child was violated."

Troi nodded. "I'm going to try to talk to her, I think I'll be able to get her to open up a little." Crusher sighed.

Back at her quarters, Sarah sat on the couch in deep thought. It was interrupted by the chime. "Um, come in." she called quietly. Troi entered.

"Hello Sarah." She smiled at the girl, and slowly walked towards her, casually taking a seat next to her. "I was just wondering if you had any questions." Sarah shook her head, though Deanna knew better. The counselor nodded once, carefully moving into her next question. "Do you want to play a quick game?"

The child shrugged, but nodded. "Ok."

"Alright. This is how we play the game. I'm going to tell you something about me. Then, you say something about you. We can start off simple, but then we move into more and more secrets." Deanna studied the girl next to her. Sarah was definitely uncomfortable, but the counselor felt that she would be willing to play. "I'll start. I love chocolate." That was a good one. Everyone knew that. "Now it's your turn." The 12 year old hesitated. "We're starting off simple. Anything about yourself." Troi reminded her.

"I live...or, used to live...I guess...in New York." she finally said.

"What year did you live in?" she asked, trying to get more information.

Sarah shook her head. "It's your turn." she said matter-of-factly, without realizing the disappointment that came across Troi. However, the counselor nodded.

"Ok." the counselor replied in agreement. "I enjoy helping others." Sarah tried to think of something easy to say, but Deanna cut into her thoughts. "I think it's time to get a little more secretive." she told her. The girl sighed, however internally took the challenge.

"I sleep with a night-light" she confessed.

"That's a good one." Troi praised. "I'm afraid of dogs." Sarah thought hard. It seemed to come so easily to the counselor, but there were so many points about herself she wasn't quite ready to expose. Deanna sensed her struggle. "How about those bruises on your wrists? Tell me how you got them." she suggested, leading the child into the direction that, at least, she wanted her to go in.

The girl rubbed her wrists anxiously. "Oh, um, I was rough-housing with a friend" she fibbed. Quickly, she tried to avoid the topic. "It's your turn now."

"Alright." she said, while thinking to herself 'here it goes'. "I'm not completely human. I'm part Betazoid, which means I can sense feelings and emotions." Automatically, the girl's guard went up. "Betazoids have telepathic abilities. I'm only half Betazoid though. However, I can tell whether people are lieing or not." Sarah remained speechless. "Sarah, will you tell me what really happened?" Tears welled up in the girl's eyes, but she held them in.

"I don't want to play anymore" she whispered.

"That's fair." Deanna said, grateful that she had made some progress. "But I will tell you, Dr. Crusher will want to heal the bruises" she continued, and added "Along with any other injuries you may still have." At this comment, Sarah turned away from Counselor Troi, even though Deanna well knew that she was crying. "If you want to talk to me, just let me know. Other than that, the doctor will call you when she's ready." Troi stood up and began to leave.

"Miss...um," Sarah began.

"Counselor Troi." she guided her.

"Counselor Troi," the girl corrected herself. "Will you...um...come with me when- when she calls for me?"

Deanna nodded, sensing fear. "Yes, Sarah."


	4. Chapter 4

An hour later, Sarah heard the doctor's voice, from what seemed to be nowhere.

"Crusher to Pavlov" the voice said.

"Uh...um, hello?" the girl guessed on how to answer it as though it were a telephone call.

"Sarah, I'd like to see you." Beverly said. Sarah gulped.

"Uh-uh-uhh, umm, o-ok." she replied, nervously, and began rubbing her wrists again. "Doctor...?" she then asked, trying to send the message in her voice that she forgot Beverly's last name, but hearing it as an ordinary question, Crusher only moved on.

"Yes?"

"How do I get a hold of the counselor?"

There was a brief pause. "Would you like me to call for her?" the voice asked.

The girl thought about this. Then, decided there wasn't really any other way. "Um, yeah. Sure." she confirmed. "Could you send her here?"

There was another pause. "I suppose I could do that, but I want to see you soon after she arrives."

"Ok" she agreed. Beverly was about to lecture her on the proper way to respond to higher rankings, but then remembered who she was really talking to.

Five minutes later, Troi rang the door chime. "Come in" Sarah called. The doors swooshed open and Deanna entered. They stared at each other for a few moments, Troi trying to read the child. The girl broke their eye contact, looking nervously around the room. She took a deep, shaky breath, and tears began to fill her eyes again, but she held them back. The counselor tilted her head with sympathy for the child. Sarah swallowed hard.

"We can still talk about it." Deanna offered gently, but Sarah shook her head.

"I-I don't really know what to say." she said, beggining to feel more and more uncomfortable. "Besides, the doctor said she wanted to see me as soon as you came."

Troi felt the girl's discomfort, and the desire to please. She began with settling the desire. "I will talk to Dr. Crusher. If you wish to talk, this would be an appropriate time." she assured her. Sarah hesitated, deep in thought. Deanna waited patiently.

"I don't know if I can." she finally said, and sat down on her couch, anxious about her appointment for the doctor. Troi slowly took a seat beside her.

"Why don't you try?" Deanna suggested gently. Sarah shifted topics in her mind. The counselor sensed the indecision. "You're still concerned about your appointment, aren't you?" The girl looked up, wondering how Counselor Troi figured this out. "Remember? I can sense your feelings." Troi explained. Sarah was still slightly amazed. Deanna nodded at this. "You'll get used to it." she promised her. The child shook her head, trying to get back to her own concerns. While most people would have re-assured her of the promise made, the counselor knew that the promise was not the reason she shook her head. "Don't worry. I will work things out with Dr. Crusher-" Deanna began to relieve some of the anxiety, but it was too late.

"No." Sarah said. "I should go. Now." Troi was amazed that the girl felt that a physical exam, exposing her trauma, was better than just talking about it.

She sighed. "Alright." she gave in, extending a hand that would be the source of comfort and strength through-out Sarah's journey. Reluctantly, Sarah took the hand. Then, working at the child's pace, they both began to walk to Sickbay.


	5. Chapter 5

"You ready?" Deanna asked as the two stood right outside of Sickbay. Of coarse, she knew the answer, but asking the question would make Sarah feel more brave. Sarah took a deep breath and nodded. Troi stepped closer to the door, causing it to open. The girl grasped her hand, and the counselor squeezed back strength. Together, they entered Sickbay.

Dr. Crusher noticed them instantly. "There you are. Please, come with me." She led them to a biobed. "Here, lie down. I'll be right back." As soon as the doctor left, Sarah turned to the counselor.

"I think this was a bad idea." she said, trying to now avoid the near future.

"Sarah, it's either this or we talk." Deanna said, a little more firmly than she meant to.

"Why should I even have to talk?" the child began to raise her voice, desperate to get out of her current situation. "Don't you have those psychic abilities?"

"I can not read minds." Troi reminded her, keeping her cool. "Only sense emotions." Then, carefully planning her next move, said "Why don't you sit." she suggested, motioning to the bed. Deanna could feel the fear rising fast in the girl, who was biting her lip to keep from crying. "Just sit, try to relax." she told her, and began to help her through the simple action. Sarah accepted the help, and was beggining to calm down when Beverly re-appeared. Impulsively, Sarah grabbed Counselor Troi's hand.

Dr. Crusher held up a few instruments. "I'm first going to just use this to scan for injuries. It won't hurt at all." she promised. "I do need you to lie down for this, however." she instructed.

Before Deanna could stop her, Sarah jumped off the bed and fled. She had no idea where she was going. She just wanted to go. The girl ran around the room looking for the way out. As suddenly as Sarah had began to run, she ran into something- or someone that was. Worf, Chief of security, had the girl tight in his grasp as she struggled to break free. The child squirmed for a few moments, before surrendering. As soon as she gave in, Worf let her go, and she fell to the floor where she sat in tears for a minute.

"Sarah" Deanna said softly, walking over to the trembling girl. She knelt down, placing a gentle hand on her back. "Hush, little one. I know you are afraid." Sarah fell into the counselor's arms. They sat there for a few moments, rocking, before Troi finally said "Come." and helped her to her feet. With a few sniffles, they walked over to the biobed, and Sarah lied down again. "Close your eyes. Imagine you're on a beach." Counselor Troi began to comfort her, while Beverly began to scan for injuries.

In the end, Dr. Crusher found plenty of bruises on Sarah's body. However, she took Deanna's advice she had given to her earlier on taking things one bit at a time. The wrists were a great place to start. Counselor Troi felt the doctor's next intention.

"Sarah?" Crusher asked, trying to get her patient's attention. "I'm going to heal the bruises on your wrists now. You won't feel any pain." Gently, Beverly picked up one of the girl's wrists, and Sarah flinched. Troi contemplated grasping the child's other hand for comfort, but then decided against the action, as it may make the girl feel too restrained. If she wanted to, the child would reach for the hand on her own.

"Relax" Deanna soothed, brushing hair out of Sarah's face, while leaving a free hand to provide comfort if need be. Sarah began to struggle, making Troi feel more confident about her choice. If this is how she reacted with one hand restrained, imagine what she would do with both hands restrained.

"Please, Sarah. Try to be still." Beverly frowned, though the girl could not see it, for her eyes were shut tight with fear. The 12 year old could not settle. Her limbs seemed to have a mind of their own, and it was as though Sarah was trying to keep them from moving. "Deanna, could I speak with you for a moment?" Dr Crusher requested. The counselor nodded.

"Sarah, I'll be back in just a moment" she said. The girl opened her eyes quickly. Deanna felt her fear, and knew she did not want to be left alone. "I'll be right back. I promise" she said, placing a hand over hers and looking in the fearful eyes of the child. The counselor waited for a change in feelings that would indicate she could go. Finally, a tiny bit of trust entered the field.

Once safe in her office, Dr. Crusher began to speak. "Deanna, I know that she must be terrified, but if she continues to struggle, I will have no choice but to restrain her." The counselor immediately responded.

"That is the very reason for why she is so uncomfortable. She feels as though she is being held against her will, and though I'm not exactly sure what's happened to her, I sense that it is also bringing up some bad memories."

"But these bruises may take weeks to heal. Not to mention about a dozen other injuries that I've found."

"And the memories may scar her for life." Deanna argued. They both stood silently for a moment, thinking hard about their next move.

Finally, Beverly asked "What do you suggest we do then? I'm fresh out of ideas." Troi sighed.

"I'm not sure. I'll see if I can try to help her feel comfortable enough to allow you to at least heal her wrists today. It's not like bruises are going to kill her, though."

"Deanna, I'm surprised you haven't even thought of the idea that every time this child feels pain in her wrists, or sees the bruises she reflects what happened to her. Now I'm not a psychiatrist, but I'm pretty sure that it would not help her to feel any better." Beverly glared at her friend.

"You're right" the counselor replied. "I haven't yet thought of that." Deanna could sense triumph, anger, and disbelief in the doctor. "I make mistakes too sometimes. I'm not perfect." she defended herself. The feelings remained for a moment, and then eased past.

Beverly sighed. "I guess you're right." she said. "I'm sorry. I'm just so mad that someone would do this to a poor child." she confessed.

"I'm not very happy about that myself." Troi agreed. "We have to remember that she is not from our time. This used to be a common crime."

"I know." Dr. Crusher said. "I just wasn't expecting a crime from the past to have so much effect on present day."

"We'll help her through this." Deanna assured her, trying to lead them back to their original problem.

"See what you can do. Let's just try to heal her wrists." Crusher said, following the counselor's intentions.


	6. Chapter 6

The counselor returned to Sarah's bedside. After talking it over a little more with Beverly, she had decided to teach the child a few breathing exercises to help her keep her mind off of what would be happening soon. Relief flooded the girl when she noticed Troi was back. Deanna was grateful that she could provide at least some comfort for her, but she also knew that she had to get her through this. As soon as Sarah saw Dr. Crusher, her fear resurfaced.

"Sarah, Dr. Crusher is going to take a break for now." Deanna began, taking her hand to get her full attention, and maybe calm her fears. "I thought it may be a wonderful time for me to show you how to do some breathing that may help you." The counselor hardly completed her sentence before Sarah rolled her eyes, sighing in disgust. However, Troi well knew that this action was only a cover up for the real fear and humiliation that was held inside, and so, she continued with full authority. " Close your eyes." she ordered. The girl ignored her, but the walls were beggining to break inside. "You needn't feel silly about having to do this." Deanna told her.

"But it feels stupid." Sarah said.

"And why is that?" the counselor asked.

"Because people don't usually need this." she replied.

"So you think you shouldn't need it?" Deanna continued.

"Right" the girl confirmed. Troi paused, and then asked her another question.

"Why do you sleep with a night light?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Sarah said defiantly.

"Just tell me. Why do you sleep with a night light?" the counselor asked again.

"Because...I'm afraid of the dark" she answered.

"But not everyone needs to sleep with a night light." Troi said.

"Well, not everyone's afraid of the dark!" Sarah defended herself. Deanna nodded.

"Not everyone is afraid of Dr. Crusher's examinations either." she told the child. Sarah took a deep breath, nodding.

"But I am." she replied in a small voice.

"And that's alright." Deanna re-assured her. "But just as you use a night light to soothe your fears at bedtime, you need a way to calm yourself during a physical exam. My job is to help you find one. This is one common technique, and it may help you." Sarah nodded again. "So are you ready to try it?" The counselor asked.

"Ok." the girl gave in. Troi smiled at her success.

"Alright. Close your eyes." she told her. This time, Sarah shut her eyes. "Good, now slowly take a deep breath through your nose." The girl inhaled, her chest rising. Troi took mental note of this. "And out through your mouth." she continued. The child breathed out. "This time, I want you to try to breathe into your stomach, rather than your chest." They tried it once more. Again, Sarah took a deep breath. Her chest filled with air. "One more time." Deanna placed a hand on the girl's belly. "Try to move my hand as high as you can." she said. With a little more practice, and a few more techniques, the child forgot all about the exam, and fell into a state of serenity.

_I just wanted to give thanks to those few who have reviewed. To mikosangeleyes, Seanait, and Kirsten. I'm sorry I haven't updated lately. I just can't write unless I really have the "vibes". Thanks for reviewing though. I was beggining to think that I was truly writing this story as just something to keep me busy. Unfortunately, I don't know all that much about Star Trek, so this story may not turn out so well. I hope to give it my best shot. That's why I asked for no flames: because I really don't know what I'm doing. Hopefully, I will be able to update soon._


	7. Chapter 7

Sarah looked down at her wrists. They had been healed. No bruises, no more pain. The memories of her nightmare were beginning to fade away. She tried not to think about it anymore. She had been punished, and learned her lesson. It had been her fault, she thought. After all, she never said 'no'. So then what was the feeling inside of her that threatened to resurface? She had recovered from it all, hadn't she? Frustration covered up the hidden feelings. The girl just wanted to forget it. Unfortunately for her, Counselor Troi wasn't about to let that happen.

"How are your wrists?" Deanna asked her, taking a seat at her desk to begin her session with Sarah.

"Fine" the child replied softly. The counselor tried to make eye contact, but Sarah wouldn't let her.

"Sarah, I need to ask you a question." she said, and waited for a response. The only response was a quick glance in the counselor's direction. "Can you please tell me how you received those bruises?"

The girl sighed. "It was nothing." she replied.

"If it was nothing, then why aren't you able to talk about it?" Troi asked. A tear ran down Sarah's cheek. "Why are you so sad, Sarah?"

"I want to go home." she cried, and covered her face with her hands. Deanna sighed. She knew this was just another way to avoid the main problem.

"I'm sure you do." she replied gently. "We are still trying to find a way to get you back. But it will take some time. And until we figure it out, you are living on this ship. As the ship's counselor, I need to help you." she explained. "But I can't help you if you don't let me."

"I don't want help." Sarah said in annoyance. "I don't need help." she confirmed, more for herself. A few more tears found their way out, and she sniffled.

"You sit here and cry, and you believe you don't need any help?" she said ignored the counselor's statement. As much as she wanted to continue with the lecture, Deanna knew it wouldn't do a thing to help her. A new idea came into play. It was an old trick used for many occasions in which people refused to talk about what needed to be said. Troi would try to get to know her more, as a person. Not just her problems. The counselor reached for a tissue from a box sitting on her desk and handed it to the girl. Sarah took it and wiped her nose. Deanna got up from her desk, walked around to Sarah, and, squatting, wiped a tear from her cheek with the back of her hand. "How would you like to see the holodeck?" she asked her. A puzzled look fell over the child's face. "It's a simulation room. Kind of like a virtual reality system." The girl seemed interested.

"Can I..." she croaked, "can I go to other places?"

"In a way." Troi nodded slowly. "You will only be going to them virtually. It wont be real, but it will feel very real."

"Can I go to New York City?" Sarah whispered.

"I'm sure we have a program like that." Deanna smiled, but also hoped that Sarah wouldn't get to attached to holodeck version of New York. "Come on. I'll show you."


	8. Chapter 8

The doors to the holodeck slid open and before their eyes was the city of New York. A small smile grew on Sarah's face. Carefully, as if unsure it was safe, she lightly tapped her foot onto the street. "It's alright." the counselor assured her, putting an arm around her. With the counselor by her side, Sarah slowly stepped onto the street. 

"It's real." she whispered in awe.

"But it's not." Deanna said, keeping her from believing what was not true.

"But it is!" Sarah replied. "There's Times Square...and the Empire State Building!" Busy people walked around them, as if they did not exist. Horns honked, signs flashed, and the air was full of sweet smells.

"Sarah." Troi said, trying to keep the girl in touch with reality.

"I think I can take it from here." she replied, and started walking off into the city.

"Sarah! No." Deanna called after her. The child did not listen. She sighed. "Computer, end program." she commanded. The city vannished into the black and yellow grid of the holodeck, and Sarah stood off in the corner. The counselor immideatly felt the alarm that flooded the girl. "It's ok, Sarah." she said, calming her.

"What...what happened?" she asked, now full of sorrow.

"You were mistaking fantasy with reality." the counselor explained. "I ended the program." she added.

"But...I...I was home." Sarah said, and broke into a soft cry.

Deanna sighed again, dissapointed in herself for allowing a situation like this to occur. She slowly walked over to the girl and placed a hand on her shoulder. This time, Sarah leaned against the counselor, weak with homesickness and hopelessness. Deanna gently rested her head on top of the girl's, embracing her with as much comfort as she could provide.


	9. Chapter 9

Sarah sat with her legs hanging off the biobed in sickbay. She was back to heal another wound that had been inflicted by...no. No, she was going to forget about it. Counselor Troi stood next to her, leaning against the bed slightly, while trying to read every bit of emotion she could from this girl. Beverly had requested Deanna to come to make it easier on Sarah. However, the counselor could tell this made the girl feel embarrassed and insecure. These thoughts were also going through Sarah's mind. She hadn't even looked at the counselor since they arrived. Finaly, Deanna spoke.

"You know, it's ok to need help." The counselor studied the girl for an answer. Sarah sat in silence for a moment.

"I don't want help." She finaly replied.

"Wanting something and needing it are two completely different things." Counselor Troi told her. When she didn't get a reply, she continued. "Sarah, I know you would rather me not be here-"

"Then why are you?" the girl snapped. The counselor was not effected by the anger, but responded with a stern voice.

"because I know that you are not capable of handling your fears yet." The mere truth to this statement sent an avalanche of emotions through the child. Anger came up first.

"You know nothing." she growled, until suddenly a great wave of tears came as she accepted the counselor's statement. The girl did not, however, accept the fact. She couldn't. That was until Dr. Crusher came over. The doctor took one look at the sobbing child on the bed and set down her tools. This made a noise that startled Sarah, and she jumped slightly. Beverly looked at Deanna, waiting for her to give the signal that it was alright to proceed.

"Alright, Sarah." the counselor said gently, smoothing the girl's hair. "Relax." She would continue the conversation later. Right now, they just had to get through with the proceedure. "Sarah" she repeated to get her patient's attention. When the girl looked at her, she continued. "Lie down." Sarah was about to enter another episode of tears, but Deanna caught her from it with a firm tone. "Sarah." The child looked up again. "You need to lie back." At this, Sarah pulled herself together and obeyed. "Remember how to do those breathing techniques?" Troi asked her. She nodded, and Deanna gave a quick nod in return motioning for her to begin. Then she looked at Beverly, and nodded once more.


	10. Chapter 10

"Computer, turn up lights." Sarah commanded, and then...ouch, tightend her eyes to keep out the harsh light. "Computer, lights off!" she said loudly, annoyed. Imidiately, she wished she had not said so. The room grew pitch black. What could be lurking in the shadows that engulfed her? Maybe even him...STOP! She almost said aloud. She had to stop thinking about...no, that's it. She was done. In a hurry, she contemplated her next command. "Computer..." she began, and heard it turn on. "turn lights on low." she tried. It worked, sorta. She hadn't set it to her own settings, so it was a little bright for her, but it worked better than a blast of light. Frustrated still, she decided to give up with the lights. She had to work with something she knew exactly what to do with. After a few minutes of thought, she had it. The hollodeck! Yeah, she could just barely remember what the counselor had done for the New York program, but she could do it.

Sarah raced off, taking the path that she and Troi had followed to arrive at the room. When she did, it was a mere game of monkey see monkey do as she recalled what actions to take. With a press of the button, the doors opened and there is was. New York City itself. The girl raced into her virtual home. It wasn't long before she had visited Central Park, and even the Statue of Liberty. She had been to the copper lady many times, but never enough to satisfy her. When she reached the top, she looked out the windows of the crown. Down at the water, and the boats. Across the river to the city skyline. Sarah looked out until someone came up behind her.

"Excuse me miss, but I am going to have to ask you to please continue on with your descent." Sarah nodded, and walked down the winding stairs.

Back at her office, Deanna studied the time closely. The child was already fifteen minutes late for her appointment. However, she didn't sense anything was wrong, so she let it go. The counselor would just have to talk to Sarah later, and remind her that the sessions were important.

The child stopped at a hot dog stand and got a bite to eat. Then sat down on a bench and watched the city life. A few people looked at her, but most just walked on by concerned with their own lives. Until one boy walked over to her.

"Hey" he said. "What might a pretty girl like you be doing sitting on such a dirty bench?" Sarah glanced up at him, and for some odd reason, in him, she saw the face. The face that terrified her. The boy, obviously not aware, continued. "Why don't you come with me. I know a spot where we can chill."

"No!" the girl screamed at him. She jumped up and ran as fast as she could.

Deanna gasped at what terror she felt. "Sarah!" she whispered, and without hesitation commanded to the computer "Computer, locate Sarah Pavlov!"

"Sarah Pavlov is in Hollodeck -" and that was all she needed to hear. Troi knew darn well that she had returned to her virtual home. Deanna hurried to the location.

Sarah's heart was pounding. The memories flodded her. All the memories she worked so hard to push away came back in an instant. The way he had torn her skirt. The pain of her wrists being pinned to the cement floor. She ducked into another alley, and hid. Sarah could have sworn that the boy had been right behind her the entire time, but there was no trace.

Deanna entered the program. "Sarah!" she called out. It was pure luck that she was within hearing range of the child. Troi immediatly felt the fear slowly fall within Sarah. It was still not yet at a safe level. In fact, if it weren't for the hyperventilation she heard, she was unsure Sarah was still conscious. The counselor turned down the alley, and spoted the child quivering with fear behind a dumpster. Sighing with relief, she ran to Sarah. The girl was still breathing heavy, and was crying as well. Deanna wanted to end the program, but she wasn't sure if the drasticness of reality would help the situation, or make it worse, and at the level of stress her body was in right now, she wasn't about to take any chances. "Sarah, it's me. Counselor Troi. You're alright. No one can hurt you." she began the series of comforting phrases. Troi sensed that the girl knew she was present, but the hyperventilation did not cease, nor did the tears. "Sarah, you have to relax. Try to slow down your breathing." She tapped her badge. "Troi to Crusher"

"I'm here." came Beverly's voice.

"Beverly, Sarah is hyperventilating. We're in hollodeck three. I can't end the program because it could make her situation worse."

"Ok, I'm on my way."


	11. Chapter 11

"Over here!" Deanna called when she saw Crusher. The doctor ran over. 

"How long has she been in this state?" Beverly asked, running the tricorder.

"I'm not sure. She was like this when I arrived. At least twenty minutes. Probably more." Troi noticed that Beverly was going to administer a hypospray. Under any other condition, this would be normal. Sarah needed a warning.

"Sarah?" the counselor held up a hand to Beverly and waited for the indication that the girl was listening. "Dr. Crusher needs to give you some medicine. You're going to feel something on your neck. It's just us." This time, Deanna grabbed Sarah's hand, which was shaking violently. The girl needed a way to divert the attention from the feeling of the hypospray on her neck. Deanna then nodded to the doctor, signaling her to administrate the medication. With the counselor squeezing the girl's hand, a hiss of the spray sent the dosage into her system, and a very weak squeeze returned to Deanna.

"That should help her to regulate her breathing." Beverly said, packing up her kit. "She has too much oxygen in her brain, however." she explained. "She won't be able to walk, and we'll be lucky if she's not disoriented with her surroundings."

"We need to make this as easy for her as possible." Deanna replied.

"I need to transport her to sickbay."

"No." Troi said. "That's too harsh for her."

"It should be fine now that I've given her the hypospray." Beverly said, a little puzzled.

" It could render her unconcious in the state she's in." The counselor explained, sensing the confusion.

"We'll just have to do this the hard way, then." The doctor stated. "Let's carry her."

"Beverly, you have to do it. Her mental state is begining to have an effect on me." Troi said, rubbing her temple.

"Ok." Crusher replied. "Sarah, I'm going to lift you up on the count of three. One, two, three" the weight of the girl's limp body was tightly secured in the doctor's arms. As if Sarah were her own child, she carried the girl quickly yet gently to sickbay.

When they arrived, Beverly lay the child on the biobed. Troi hurried behind her. With the breathing regulated, her senses weren't as effected now. She could tell Sarah was also begining to feel the effects of the medication. Still, a few tears fell out of the child's eyes. "It's alright, Sarah." the counselor soothed. "It's all over. You're ok." Deanna smoothed the girl's hair and took her hand, which was still shaking slightly.

"I...I saw him" she whispered.

"You saw who, Sarah?" The counselor asked softly. The girl began to cry a little more. "Sarah, I know this is hard, but if you don't calm down you will begin to hyperventilate again." Deanna warned in a gentle tone, as she rubbed the back of the child's hand for comfort. After her cry settled again, Troi continued. "Who did you see?"


	12. Chapter 12

"It was him." she whispered in fear. "He was going to hurt me again." Instantly, Troi understood who she was talking about. And although she knew the fear within the child was real, she didn't believe the story was true. 

"Sarah, you couldn't have seen him. The holodeck has safety features." The counselor explained.

"But...I saw him..." the girl became speechless.

"No, Sarah." Deanna assured the girl, worried for her. "Who you saw- it wasn't him." She sighed, sensing much confusion. "You need to talk about what's really been bothering you." Deanna finally told her. "If you don't, this kind of situation may happen again, possibly even worse." Dread, sorrow, fear, humiliation- all emotions at once entered into the field.

"I don't want to." she said, nearly pleading, and as much as she wanted to make Sarah happy, Troi knew what had to be done to help her.

"I understand how frightening it may be, I will help you through every step, but you've got to talk about it." The counselor told her, taking her hand.

The walls finally began to break down. With tears filling the girl's eyes, she pulled together everything she had. "Help me..." she whispered, and giving in to all the pain, began to cry.

With a light sigh, full of relief, Troi nodded. "I will." she replied, squeezing her hand tight. "I promise."

"I'm so scared." she sobbed.

"I know, Sarah." Deanna said closing her eyes and embracing her. "It's going to be alright." The girl in her arms continued to cry, and Troi knew the fear hadn't subsided. "Shh." she soothed gently. A few minutes soon passed, and Deanna let her go. "Alright, try to relax now." she told her. "Dr. Crusher will be back any minute, and if she finds out I've let you continue to cry, I'm sure to get it." She said with a smile. Sarah gave a small laugh and quickly dried her tears.

A moment later, Beverly appeared. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Ok, I guess" Sarah replied.

Dr. Crusher scaned over the girl with the tricorder. "Any dizziness, shortness of breath, dry mouth?" she went through a mental checklist of symptoms.

"A little dizzy, but other than that I'm alright." the child told her.

The doctor nodded. "You do still have a slightly high level of oxygen in your brain" she informed her, and then closed her tricorder before helping her to sit up with a gentle smile. "but it should eventualy decrease. You'll be fine." Beverly placed her tricorder on the medical tray. "Sarah, do you want to tell me what happened?" the doctor asked.

Sarah shook her head. "It was nothing" she started to say, when Counselor Troi squeezed her hand for attention. The girl turned to face her.

"It'll be a start." Troi nodded to her to encourage the conversation. Sarah stared at the counselor in thought, before nodding back.

The girl squeezed Deanna's hand tightly. "Don't leave me." she pleaded in a whisper.

"I won't." Troi promised, squeezing back.

Sarah turned to Doctor Crusher. "I...I thought that...I saw someone." she began. Beverly nodded, waiting patiently for her to continue. "I thought...they were, going to...hurt me." she said. "I got scared" her eyes filled with tears again. Crusher nodded again, placing a hand over the child's.

"Ok" she said softly. "It's over now." Sarah wiped her eyes with her hands, sniffling. Dr. Crusher picked up the hypospray that sat next to the tricorder on the tray. "I'm going to give you a sedative. It will just help you relax more so your body can rest from the stress."

Hearing this, Sarah became weary. She didn't like the idea of being 'put under', so to speak. Counselor Troi squeezed her hand. "It's alright. I'll stay with you until you fall asleep." she said, and with Dr. Crusher, helped her to lie back. Beverly gently moved the hair out of her way as she placed the hypospray up to the child's neck, administering the sedative. Slowly, Sarah's eyes relaxed, and she fell asleep.

_At this point, I'd like to thank half-human, dancing through life, seanait, and aBbY oLiViA eR sVu for their reviews. I hear that everyone wants me to write longer chapters, and I'm trying my best to do that. My main goal is focusing on the story, however. I'm not sure if I should continue and finish this story or just let it go._


	13. Chapter 13

The next thing she knew, Sarah was waking up in sickbay once again. She looked up to see Dr. Crusher standing over her, smiling. "You are well enough to return to your quarters. Counselor Troi is waiting there for you." she told her.

Sarah sat up, looking at her. "Thank you." she said softly, before she got up and left sickbay.

When she arrived at her quarters, Deanna was waiting, as expected. "Hello Sarah." she smiled at her. "I'm glad tro see you're feeling better." However, she automaticly sensed nervousness.

"Thanks" Sarah replied and before she could take a seat, her stomach began to growl.

Troi smiled again. "Hungry?" she guessed. Sarah nodded. "Come, I'm sure you've seen the replicator." She held out her hand.

"The what?" the girl asked, puzzled, and took her hand. Troi led her to the replicator.

"Go on, tell it exactly what you want." she said.

"Umm..." the child thought. "PB and J with juice." she said. Nothing happened.

"Try again. Be specific." Deanna encouraged.

"Peanut butter and jelly sandwitch and orange juice." Then, before her eyes, the meal appeared. "Wow" she gasped, inspecting the food.

"Go on, try it." Troi told her. Sarah took a bite of the sandwitch, and washed it down with the juice.

"It's delicious!" she said. Troi smiled.

"The replicator tends to make food taste that way." Then she motioned back over to the couch. "Come sit down."

When they were both seated, Deanna made some small talk to let her finish her meal. Of course, it was eaten in record time. "Sarah." the counselor began. "Can you tell me something?"

"What?" the girl asked.

"You never told me what really happened to your wrists. I'd like to know."


	14. Chapter 14

**_Warning:_****_ This chapter contains some detail that may upset some people. It contains slight detail of acts of violence against women. Read at your own risk._**

Sarah sat in silence for a moment, full of fear, pain, anger and humiliation. Troi waited patiently for her to begin. Sarah took a deep, shakey breath. "I had a boyfriend." she started. Troi said nothing, only listening now. "I was with him for 2 months, but I...started to notice that something...wasn't right about him after the first month."

"What wasn't right?" Deanna asked gently.

The girl paused for a moment to think. "He was always...taking risks. He wanted me involved with things he was doing...I knew they weren't good." The counselor nodded, and she was begining to feel the pain grow stronger and stronger. "The only reason I remained with him was..." she stopped, afraid to continue.

"Was because why?" Troi prodded.

"It was stupid..." she muttered.

"Something tells me it wasn't." the counselor insisted, and watched for a change. When Sarah remained hesistant, Troi softened. "It's ok. You don't have to be ashamed."

"I wanted to...be able to...brag. About having a boyfriend and all." She finaly said. "Stupid, huh?"

"No. Very normal for someone your age, actualy." Deanna countered. "Tell me what happened." she guided the girl gently.

The fear and pain were becoming stronger and stronger. The counselor knew Sarah couldn't hold it it for much longer, and moved over to sit next to her for when she needed more comfort.

"He...invited me over to his place...his parents weren't home. I thought it might just be like a get together, but..." her voice trailed off.

"But what?"

Sarah remained silent, trying to keep herself sane for just a little bit longer, but it wasn't working. "He just came on too quickly. Trying to passionatly hug and kiss me...it was just too much." she continued, her voice near tears. Her lower lip trembled. "So I tried to back away, and he got mad." A tear trickled down her cheek. Troi rubbed her back gently, and took her hand. "He forced me." Memories flooded the girl. "I remember him just prying my legs open, and forcing me to kiss him. He was disgusting. He pinnied my wrists when I began to struggle." she said, finaly telling the truth. She broke into a sob.

"It's alright Sarah." Troi began to comfort. "I know it was very frightening when it all happened, but you're safe now." she reminded her, to keep her out of her memories. "Now that I know what really happened, I can begin to help you more." She embraced the sobbing girl. "It's going to be alright, I promise."

"I'm so scared." the girl replied. "I can't explain why. Everytime I see a boy, I just freak."

"Is that what happened in the holodeck? You saw a boy?" Deanna asked, and Sarah nodded. "Sarah, I'm going to have Dr. Crusher heal your bruises on your legs, and we'll discuss other medical procedures that may need to take place later."

"I'm nervous." Sarah admitted.

"I know you are." the counselor replied, sympatheticly. "I'll come with you. But I want you to promise me something."

"Ok..." the child began.

"Promise me you will come and talk to me when you feel you can. Whenever you feel you can. The more we work on this, the easier it will get for you." Deanna told her, squeezing her hand.

"I promise."


	15. Chapter 15

"Ok Sarah" Counselor Troi began. It was a week after their big conversation, and they had been meeting everyday. She had called her to her office to discuss an important decision with her. "I believe that you are ready to handle your fears. That is, as long as you have been practicing the techniques." she told her, and when Sarah nodded, her senses told her it was the truth. "Now I will give you the choice. Dr. Crusher has scheduled an appointment to heal your legs today at 1300 hours. It's up to you as to whether I accompany you for this appointment or not." Troi could already sense the uncertainty that rose within the child.

"I...I'm not sure" Sarah replied, her face full of worry.

"I know that you are now more comfortable with me present, but I want you to understand that I wouldn't tell you this if I did not believe you were capable." Troi said.

"I understand" The girl said softly, nodding, however she remained hesitant. Troi tilted her head with sympathy.

"_You_ also need to believe in _yourself_." she added. "Sarah, you have to see yourself as a survivor, not a victim." When she sensed the girl begin to feel guilty, she explained. "I'm saying that to make you feel more powerful and self confident, not to make you feel as though you've done something wrong."

Sarah nodded. "Ok." she replied. "Thank you." she added softly.

Deanna nodded back. "You can do this Sarah. Now, whether you want to do it with me or by yourself is up to you." There was still a strong feeling of uncertainty in the child. "I tell you what, why don't you try going on your own. If you begin to feel like you can't handle it, you can call for me."

"I like that." the child said.

"Alright then, it's settled." the counselor said. "And Sarah, Dr. Crusher knows that you are nervous. She understands." Sarah swallowed. Hard. Deanna nodded. "_I_ know that you are afraid. Just be aware that you can be afraid and self confident at the same time."

Sarah nodded. "I can do this." she said to herself.

Deanna smiled. "That's the spirit."

"I can do this" Sarah said to herself again. She stood outside of sickbay at 1259 hours. Taking a deep breath, she entered. A nurse came up to her.

"Can I help you?" she asked, and hearing that, Dr. Crusher looked up from her desk. She had been expecting the girl. The doctor exited the her office.

"I got it, thank you." Dr. Crusher said to the nurse. The nurse nodded and left. The doctor looked at Sarah. "Are you ready?" she asked the child gently. All of the girl's self confidence seemed to leave instantly. Swallowing hard, she nodded.

"I think so." she said in a very small voice.

"It'll be ok." Dr. Crusher told her, and taking her hand, led her to a private room. She took out a paper gown. "I'd like you to change into this gown." She told her. Sarah stared at the piece of paper the doctor held. "I'll be right outside the door if you need me." she said softly, placing the gown on the bio-bed, before leaving the room.

Five minutes later, the paper gown covered Sarah in the clumsiest ways. Dr. Crusher returned with a dermal re-generator. "I'll need you to lie back." She told the girl. When the child didn't move, Dr. Crusher placed a hand on her shoulder. "Sarah?" she asked softly. Sarah shook her head.

"I can't do this." she said, tears filling her eyes.

"Yes you can." the doctor replied. Sarah shook her head again.

"I can't." she repeated. Dr. Crusher carefully took out a blanket and placed it around the child.

"Sarah," she began, sitting next to her on the bed, "Tell me about those breathing techniques that you and Counselor Troi worked on together." The girl slowly turned to look at the doctor, trying to remember.

"Two in...through the nose, four out through the mouth." she replied half in thought.

"Ok, I want you to do just that." Dr. Crusher said. "Breathe in for two seconds through the nose, and then out four seconds through the mouth." After a few minutes of breathing, Sarah had calmed enough to lie back. "Sarah, I'm going to be touching your legs, alright?" she warned gently. Dr. Crusher carefully spread the child's legs to a point that she could work with the bruises, and no further. Then, gently, slid the gown up to her waist. When she touched the bruises, however, memories flooded the girl.

"No!" Sarah cried, closing her legs together.

"Ok, ok." the doctor soothed gently, placing the blanket over her again. The girl was shaking a little. Beverly sat next to her on the bed, and Sarah burried her face in the doctor's arms, crying softly. "Shhhh" She soothed the girl. "You're alright, Sarah. You're safe." she whispered. "I'm right here, nothing can harm you." The child looked at her.

"I can't do this." she told her, tearfully.

"What if someone were to hold your hand?" Dr. Crusher suggested. Sarah hesitated, and then slowly nodded. "Ok, you stay right here, and I'll find someone." the doctor said.

"No!" the girl pleaded. Beverly looked at her, concerned. "I want _you _to." Sarah told her. Dr. Crusher nodded.

"Alright. Who would you like to preform the procedure?" she asked her softly. The girl hesitated in thought, worrying. Then the doctor suggested "how about Nurse Ogwa?" Sarah had met her before, during an appointment. The girl still hesitated. "I'll be right here next to you." Dr. Crusher reminded. Finally, Sarah nodded. "Ok, I'll go get her."

A few moments later, the two women entered the room. Beverly went over to Sarah's side. "Alright, are you ready?" she asked softly. The girl took a deep, shakey breath, and reached for the doctor's hand, who took it gently. "I'm right here." Dr. Crusher reminded her again, rubbing the back of the girl's hand with her thumb.

_Sorry it took me so long. Good fun stuff is to come in future chapters.  
_


	16. Chapter 16

Most of her external wounds had been healed. The internal wounds were showing to be difficult. "Sarah, have you met a boy since the incident in the holodeck?" Counselor Troi asked her.

"Yes" the child fibbed, trying to convince herself it was halfway true. She saw boys everyday. Sure, she didn't ever strike up a conversation, let alone glance at a boy for more than a few seconds. But she knew they were there. And she wished she didn't, or even better, she wished they didn't exist.

"Really?" Troi said in a tone that meant 'do you really think I will fall for that'. Sarah continued the white lie, nodding. "And who have you met?" The counselor stared directly into the girl's eyes, cornering her in a phsychological way. Sarah actualy felt cornered, because she tried to carefuly back away a little, but hit the back of the couch. Counselor Troi sighed unhappily at the response, letting the child know just what she was feeling. When the girl remained silent, Troi continued. "Sarah, I'm not sure if you can remember, but I can sense wheather or not people are telling the truth."

"I am telling the truth." Sarah fibbed again, in a very soft voice.

"Sarah, I can't help you if you lie to me." Counselor Troi told her. Sorrow filled the room, and the child began to cry. Troi sighed again. "I know that this is hard, but lieing won't make it any easier for you. It just creates more problems."

"I just don't want to think about it anymore." Sarah sobbed, hiding her face in her hands, and doing her best to curl up.

Deanna stood up from the chair acrossed from the couch, and placed a hand on the ball of sorrow. "I know. You're doing very well though. You may not see it, but you have made a lot of progress from when we first began."

"How much longer will I have to do this?" she asked.

"Don't think about that. Think about how far you've come. Remember when you couldn't even sleep? Now look at you. Don't give up now. You are so strong. I can sense that in you."

"Really?" Sarah asked, sniffling.

"Yes." Troi smiled, wiping a tear away from the child's face. But frustration came over the girl once again, built up over months of time. She broke into another cry, falling into the counselor's arms. "I know." Deanna soothed, embracing her. "Let it all out." She said, and sighed. "It's alright." After a good cry, and when Sarah had settled down, Deanna spoke again. "Now please tell me, have you talked to a boy since the hollodeck?" This time Sarah shook her head. "Alright. I know a young man, a little older than you, who I think you should meet." Troi sensed the fear rising, and Sarah looked at her with worry. "It will be fine. I will be right there with you. He's a nice boy." Deanna was waiting for Sarah to become a little more curious. The waiting paid off.

"What's his name?" Sarah asked softly.

"Wesley."


	17. Chapter 17

"And remember, if I tell you to be quiet, I want you to be quiet right away." Dr. Crusher said, going over the rules of the visit with her son. 

"I know mom, and don't put any pressure on her..." Wesley continued.

"And listen to the Counselor's orders" Dr. Crusher told him.

"Mom, I know, it's okay. I'll be fine." he said. Beverly smiled at her son.

"I know you will." She said. The door chimed. "Come." Beverly called. The doors to her quarters swished open, and Sarah walked in slowly next to Counselor Troi, holding her hand. "Hello Sarah." Dr. Crusher greeted her gently. "I'd like you to meet someone." She extended her hand to the girl. Cautiously, Sarah accepted the gesture, but not before looking to Troi.

"It's alright, I'll be right behind you." Deanna told the child. Slowly, Sarah followed Dr. Crusher.

"Sarah, this is my son, Wesley." Beverly introduced them, eyeing Wesley's every move.

"Hello, Sarah. It's nice to meet you." Wesley said, extending his own hand. Sarah didn't move. She stood, frozen in place, with memories flooding her. Fear filled her quickly. Deanna noticed this, and was about to intervine, when Wesley stepped forward. "I wont hurt you-"

"Wesley, stop." Deanna said, calmly.

"What?" he asked. "What did I do?"

Dr. Crusher noticed the girl was frozen with fear as well. "Just be quiet." she told him.

"It's alright Sarah. You're safe." Deanna said gently, taking her time reaching out to her.

"What's wrong?" Wesley asked.

"Wesley, quiet!" Beverly said sternly.

"Sarah, you're alright. I'm right here." Counselor Troi continued.

"What's happening?" Wesley asked.

Dr. Crusher turned to her son with the smallest move she could make. "Shut up, Wesley!" she said in a angry whisper.

"Sarah..." Troi said, and took the child's hand in her own. The instant the hands touched, Sarah turned to run, but she ran right into Troi's arms.

"Let me go." she screamed quietly, tears streaming down her face.

"Wesley, go into your room." Dr. Crusher ordered.

"But, mom..." Wesley protested.

"Go! That's an order!" She said. With that, Wesley left. Dr. Crusher grabbed one of Sarah's flailing arms. "Deanna, can I give her a relaxant?" She asked.

"Yes, but don't make it too strong. I don't want her falling asleep." Within seconds, the medicine was adminitered, and with no time to waste, Dr. Crusher carried her to sickbay.

_Yes, I know, it's a short chapter. That's how I work. But I had to get my favorite line in there: "Shut up, Wesley!" Haha!_


	18. Chapter 18

Deanna entered sickbay to check on Sarah, only to find that she wasn't there. "Where is she?" the counselor asked. 

"I was just about to contact you. I had to let her go. There was no reason, medicaly, for me to keep her in sickbay. She's in her quarters." Dr. Crusher replied.

"How's Wes?"

"I was about to go talk to him. He feels awful. I'm so sorry this didn't work, Deanna." Beverly replied.

"Me too." she said. "Oh, and did Sarah say anything?"

The doctor shook her head. "I'm sorry. She just didn't wish to talk." Deanna nodded. 

"Ok," Troi said. "Thank you." and she left. A few minutes later she stood in front of Sarah's guest quarters, and swiftly rand the door chime. There was no answer. She pressed it again. Still, no answer. Sarah _was_ in there, and Deanna knew it. "Sarah, may I come in?" she softly asked.

"Go away" a voice answered from behind the door. The voice was not full of fear, as the counselor thought it would be, but disgrace and sorrow. Almost guilt.

"How about if I just come in. I won't say anything, I'll just sit." Troi suggested. There was an uneasy pause, and for a moment Deanna thought she had lost her chance.

"Fine." the girl replied. "It's open." The counselor opened the door. Sarah sat on the sofa, red-eyed, hugging a pillow. Troi walked over slowly, sitting down next to her, yet still keeping her distance. Pure sorrow filled the room, and the child broke into more tears. "I'm sorry." she said between sobs.

"What are you sorry for?" Deanna asked gently, inching closer.

"Are you blind?" Sarah asked her. "I freaked! I was awful!"

"You weren't awful, you just need to practice." Counselor Troi told her.

"I let you down. I let Dr. Crusher down-"

"I can assure you that you did not let me down. I know Dr. Crusher would say the same thing." Troi countered, taking her hand.

"So...you're not angry?" Sarah asked.

"Why would I be angry? You tried to meet a boy today, Sarah. That was a big step for you. I'm proud of you for that." Deanna replied, brushing the hair out of the child's face.

"Really?"

"Yes." the counselor told her. "You need to have more confidence in yourself. You can do more than you give yourself credit for. Don't be afraid of tripping once in a while. It happends, and all you need to do is pick yourself up and keep going." The girl was silent, thinking this over. "I am going to let you know that I do think the boy deserves another shot. I think he was hurt."

"I don't want to think about him." she replied quickly.

"I know, but sooner or later you have to face your fears - whether it be with or without support is up to you." Deanna said. The fear that had been pushed down, replaced by the sorrow and guilt, now surfaced with tears flowing. Counselor Troi wrapped her arm around the girl, rubbing the back of her hand with her thumb. "It's frightening, I know." she soothed, softly. "But, remember, that you can do it."

_I wanted to thank reviewers for well, reviewing, but I don't have time right now. But this means I WILL thank all of the reviwers from past chapters and this one as well. If you've reviewed, keep your eye out for your name, because it WILL be listed. Promise._


	19. Chapter 19

"Mom?" Wesley poked his head into Dr. Crusher's office to check if she was there.

His mother looked up from the computer at her desk. "Wes! Hi." She greeted, smiling.

"Mom, I'm sorry about what happened. It was just, really...confusing. I-"

She slid her chair back from her desk, standing up to walk over to him. "Wes, it's fine. It wasn't your fault." She said gently, and gave him a quick hug. She stopped, and looked at her son. There was something he wanted to tell her ...she knew it. "What?" She finally asked.

"I felt kinda bad about how things turned out, so..." Wesley took a PADD out and began pressing the buttons on it furriously. "You have to see this. I think it might work." Dr. Crusher peeked over his shoulder at the computer in his hands. "What do you say? Can we give it a try?" His mother looked at him proudly.

"Let's see what we can do." She told him with a twinkle in her eyes, while smiling, and gave him another quick hug.

_I know, I know I know! It's SHORT. (seanait:-P) UGH! Lest favorite chapter to write. "It wasn't your fault"...it NEVER is. UGH. Oh well, it's over with. Onto the next...somewhat better...chapters. And I promised the list of names. For added interest, I also put down how many reviews each person has given. No contest, just simply curiosity. So without further adue, here you go:_

svuislove13 (1)  
seanait (12)

Kirsten (2)

Dancing Trough Life (1)

Maureen Olivia Lockhart (2)

half-human (2)

Miss Metal -or- Zakia (3)

Tuffel (1)

Nightwitch87 (1)

tayababy (1)

andrea06 (3)

Makenzi Lane (1)

Roxie Seine (1)

_Thank you all! Hope you're enjoying this fanfic...I may actualy finish this one!_


	20. Chapter 20

Counselor Troi rang the door chime to Sarah's quaters. "Who is it?" Sarah called. 

"It's Counselor Troi."

"Come in." She replied quietly, and the counselor stepped inside.

"Sarah, I'd like you to see Wesley." she told her. Sarah looked at her with wide eyes and shook her head.

"Why not?" Troi asked.

"I don't know. I just...don't want to." she said softly.

"I think you might." the counselor told her. The girl was puzzled, and she stared at the counselor as if the woman had two heads.

"I think your 'senses' are a little whack." she replied. Troi shook her head.

"This has nothing to do with my empathic abilities." Deanna said.

"What do you know that I don't?" Sarah finaly asked.

"I promised I wouldn't say anything. He wants to tell you himself." she told the girl. Sarah sat in silence for a moment, with the slightest bit of fear knawing at her. Deanna gently placed a hand over hers. "It's alright. You'll be fine." she said confidently.

The child sighed, and looked up at Troi. "Will you come with me?" Deanna nearly rolled her eyes.

"Yes, I will. But you are going to do all of the talking." She said, and immediately felt the guilt and fear from the girl pour in. The counselor sat down next to her and squeezed her hand. "Sarah, do you trust me?"

She thought about this for a second, before nodding. "I guess so."

"Then do you think I would let you see this boy if I didn't know that he was a safe person?"

Sarah shook her head. "I guess not."

At the same time, Troi shook her head with her, confirming. "No. So yes, I will come with you. Not because you need my help, but because I want to watch you make the progress. On your own." Sarah nodded. "Are you ready?"

"Ok." She replied.

"Good. Come on, he's waiting." Counselor Troi said.


	21. Chapter 21

The two sat in Troi's office, where Wesley agreed to meet them. "What should I say?" Sarah asked nervously. 

"Don't think about it. Just listen to what he wants to tell you." Deanna replied.

Sarah shifted uncomfortably in the chair, her anxiety was through the roof. In fact, it began to worry Counselor Troi. If it got too much higher, the girl's breathing could become irregular. She placed a gentle hand on the child's shoulder, and Sarah jumped a mile. "_Sarah_, relax." She kneeled in front of her. "Breathe with me." She reminded her how to control her breathing. "In through your nose for two seconds," they inhaled together. "Out through your mouth for four." and together they exhaled. "Good. Keep going." She continued the exercise until Wesley arrived, and while she kept herself together, she avoided eye contact.

"Hi Sarah." Wesley began as he had when he went over his speech with Troi. "I know we had a rough begining, and I was just wondering if...maybe, we could start over? I'd really like to be friends." Sarah was quiet. She didn't move. "I understand if you don't want to. I'm sorry-"

"No." Sarah replied. Instantly dissapointed, Wesley looked to Counselor Troi, but Troi held up a hand to signal some patience. The girl sighed. "I'm sorry. I was irrational. You didn't do anything to deserve it, and I...I-I'd like to be...friends. A surge of pride raced through Deanna and a smile instantly came to her face, and Wesley's as well.

"Wesley, why don't you tell her now." Troi suggested.

"Tell me what?" the girl asked.

Wesley was full of excitement, and his words almost seemed to bounce out of him. "I think I can get you home."


	22. Chapter 22

The girl's eyes grew wide, and she glanced at Troi, who nodded smiling. "When?" Was all she could ask. 

"Hopefuly, if everything goes well, within the next 72 hours." The boy replied. Deanna could tell that this was a lot for Sarah.

"I tell you what, Wesley, you keep us updated on your progress." The counselor said.

"Yes sir!" he responded, and left.

"Sarah, would you like to return to your quarters to prepare for your departure?" All Sarah could do was nod. "Alright." she kneeled down to the girl's level again. "I'll meet you there later, how's that sound?"

"O-ok." she replied, slowly standing up to leave.

"And Sarah," Counselor Troi added. The child turned around, almost in a daze. "Breathe." After a moment, the order sunk in, and she nodded her understanding.

_I know, I know...REALLY REALLY SHORT. But this JUST came to me spur of the moment, and I thought I should at least get it down. Too bad more didn't come. I'm trying my best. Actualy, you're lucky you got anything, because I WAS about to just 'end' it._


	23. Chapter 23

Sarah sat once again in her quaters, staring out a stary window. When the door chime rang, she answered.

"Come in"

Deanna walked in. "Wesley said that he should be ready for you tommorow." She walked over to the child. That's all she was - innocence. She took a seat next to her, leaning an elbow against the window pane. The Betazoid studied the girl, though she didn't have to for long to find what she was looking for. "You're not ready to leave, are you?" Sarah shrugged - a very small shrug. "Why?"

The girl sighed. "I don't know. I guess I kinda like it here."

Deanna thought for a moment, choosing the right words, before placing a hand over the child's. "But you belong in New York." As soon as she said this, she felt a new emotion. A stronger one. One that was very familiar. "Sarah, what is the real reason for why you aren't ready to leave?"

She glanced at the woman quickly. "I just told you. I like it here."

Before Deanna said anything else, she studied the girl. This time, she studied hard, looking into her eyes until finaly, she found the truth. "You're afraid." She said. Sarah glared at her, with no where to hide. "The boy lives in New York. You're safe here, because he is not here. But you'll be going back to him. He'll really be there." With each sentence, Sarah became more and more afraid of her reality.

"It's going to be torture!" she cried. "I've worked so hard these past three months, and it will be for nothing. I'm just going to have to face him again." She sat in tears.

Deanna squeezed her hand. "You're right, you have worked hard over the past three months. But it won't be for nothing. Maybe you will have to face him again, but this time, you'll be stronger. Instead of being a victim, you'll be a survivor. You'll be ready for him." She sensed discomfort. "Sarah, it's normal to be afraid. In fact, if you weren't afraid, I'd be concernd."

"Why?" Sarah asked.

Counselor Troi looked into her eyes. "Because if you aren't afraid for your saftey, even just a little bit, then you aren't safe."

Sarah looked back into Troi's eyes. "I'm going to miss you." She said.

The counselor smiled at the compliment, tilting her head a little. "Why is that?"

"I've never felt so cared for."

Deanna thought about the statement. "I believe that no matter who you are, you'll always be loved by someone. I like to try to be that person for people."

Sarah smiled as she replied "People like it, too."


	24. Chapter 24

_So wow. It's been quite a while since my last update. Hopefully you all still remember the story. I finally came up with an idea for another chapter here. I know, it's a bit short. But it has potential for a "next chapter"._

The next day, Sarah had made up her mind. She would stay. Sure, she may miss her family and friends, but it was just so much safer on the ship. She decided that she'd better learn her way around and walked throughout the ship. The girl came to a door labled "Ten Forward". She walked inside, and saw what looked to be like a fancy resturaunt. Then she saw a woman behind the counter. She took a seat.

"Hello" the woman said. "Are you lost?"

"No, I'm trying to learn my way around the ship, since I plan on staying here." Sarah explained.

'She must be Sarah' the woman thought. "Ah, well, this place is called Ten-Forward, and it's only a place for grown-ups. People your age need an adult with them."

"Oh." the girl replied. "I'm sorry." She got up to leave.

"Don't worry about it." the woman said. "I'll be the adult." she winked. Sarah smiled. "I'm Guinan."

"Sarah. Sarah Pavlov." the girl put her hand out. Guinan shook it.

"Well, Sarah, it's very nice to meet you." The bartender paused. "So, you're trying to learn the layout of the ship?"

"Yes." Sarah thought quietly.

"What's on your mind?" Guinan asked.

"Well, I'm supposed to be going home today."

"Hmm, that seems exciting."

The girl shook her head. "I don't want to go." she confessed to the stranger.

"Wow. I know the starship is a very nice place, but won't you miss your family, and your friends?"

She nodded. "But someone hurt me there."

"Hmm. That's a shame. I'm sorry you had such a bad expirience."

"Thank you." Sarah thought again for a moment. "Could I stay with you?"

"Well, I'm honored that you would choose me to be your guardian, but you belong in your home."

"I told you, I don't want to go home. I'm staying here."

"I completely understand why you would want to, it would be very frightening to return to a place where you were hurt."

"So, can I stay with you?" she asked again.

Guinan sighed. "You know, a wise man once said that 'The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.' "

"Hey! I know who said that! It was the president. We learned about him in school."

"Yes, he was a president of the United States durring the second world war. That line was said in 1933. Powerful statement."

"Counselor Troi told me that I should be afraid. That it's what keeps me safe."

"She's right." the bartender replied.

"But you just quoted the president. "The only thing to fear is fear."

"Well, it's true." Sarah lost it. She was completely confused. Guinan laughed. "You see, if you aren't afraid, then you aren't safe. But if you are too afraid, you are too safe, which means that you'll never learn anything new. That's when you should fear the fear itself. But you are allowed to be afraid. You just can't let the fear control you. You have to control the fear, so that when you are in a dangerous situation, you can get to a safer place, without being so afraid that you can't move." Somehow, Sarah understood.

"You're saying I should go home, even though I'm scared." the girl said softly.

"I'm saying that if Counselor Troi taught you right, you should be able to control your fears and stay safe. And I think you can."


	25. Chapter 25

Deanna met up with Beverly in the corridor, and they walked side by side. "Do you know anything about this conference with the Captain?" Deanna asked her friend.

Beverly shook her head. "I can't think where I went wrong, and I know this wouldn't be a personal matter..." Troi had to smile at that comment, as she could feel the slightest amount of passion from her friend as she had spoken.

"While I want Will to be happy, there are times when I can appriciate the fact that he is not 'Captain'." Troi said with a sigh.

"It does take a toll on the relationship." The doctor smirked.

"But you're strong, Bev" Deanna said dramatically, clenching a fist, and her friend couldn't help but laugh.

They arrived at the Captain's Ready Room, and prepared themselves for the worst. Then they were invited in.

"Doctor" the Captain greeted. He paused for less than a second, and turned to Deanna. "Counselor" he continued in his professional manner. "Please, sit." The women glanced at each other, and then politely sat. Picard smoothed his hand over his bald head, trying to relieve the tension he felt. The counselor could feel the tension in the room from both the Captain and the doctor as well. She secretly took her friend's hand in her own, realizing the tension was in her as well. Picard cleared his throat, nervously. "Obviously, there is a child on this ship that needs to be returned to her home." He hesitated a bit, and then built up his strength and carried on. "While I am aware of the tremendous effort that the two of you have made to heal this girl, I need to remind you of the importance of the Prime Directive." Instantly, both women were filled with anxiety. They glanced at each other again, and squeezed their hands tight together. Then Troi looked back to the man.

"Captain, we have been working with this girl for months. There isn't a way to..." she searched for the words. "Take back what has already occurred." The fear was rising in her, and she realized that she had to calm herself. She let out a sigh.

"Counselor, I am aware of the length of time. But," Picard turned to the doctor. "I do belive there is a way to.." he glanced at Troi as he said "'take it back'" he looked at Beverly. "I remember a little while ago there was a little girl who was very attached to Data. Dr. Pulaski conducted a "memory wipe" before she was returned." He looked straight into Beverly's eyes. "I am ordering you, Doctor, to do the same with this one." Deanna's heart sank and the doctor only stared at the Captain. "Are my orders clear?" he asked her. Beverly stared at him harder, furious. The counselor focused on a space in thin air on the other side of the room, uncomfortable with the tension between the two. "Dr. Crusher are my orders clear?" the Captain barked.

"YES, Captain." The doctor snapped coldly.

"Good. Dismissed."

Reluctantly, the women stood up and walked out of the Ready Room. When the doors shut to the turbolift, Beverly said, reffering to the joke made earlier, "I'm not sure if I'm strong _enough_, Deanna." The Counselor looked at her friend with sympathy, and placed an arm around her.


	26. Chapter 26

"So, where are we going?" Sarah asked the counselor as they were walking down the corridor.

Deanna tried to hold in her sigh. "Sickbay." She said, plainly. Troi hated to be so decieteful to this child, who had come to trust her so much. "Dr. Crusher wanted to say good-bye."

"Oh." The girl replied. She stopped walking, which caused her to tug on the counselor's hand. Troi turned around to see what had happened.

"Sarah?" she asked, questioning the abrupt halt.

"I just wanted to say…thank you." Sarah told her. "For everything. I'll will never forget your kindness." She promised the counselor.

With her eyes nearly brimming with tears, Deanna could only nod.

The two entered sickbay, where Dr. Crusher was waiting. Sarah ran over to hug her, and Beverly took her in her arms. "Good-bye, Sarah." She whispered sadly. Before the child could go anywhere, the doctor gave her a sedative.


	27. Chapter 27

The next thing Sarah knew, she was sitting in an alley. "Sarah! Sweetheart, we're police officers. We just want to help you." The girl looked at her torn skirt, and realized she was crying. "Honey, can you tell me what happened?" A woman officer asked, offering her hand.

Somehow, Sarah found in herself the courage to speak. "I was raped." She took the officer's hand.

"Do you know who did this to you?" the woman asked.

"Yes. It was my boyfriend." The girl told her. "My EX-boyfriend." She corrected herself. "I'm sorry I ran." Sarah appologized for her behaviour.

"No, no, sweetheart. It's a very normal reaction. I know everything is very frightening, but you're safe now."

"I was very scared before, but for some reason, I'm not as scared anymore." She explained, allowing the officers to help her into an ambulance.


End file.
